Stay Gold

Katie Killed a Guy

5. All American Girl by Meg Cabot

-“Look, I am way concerned about the environment. But that does not mean I want to wear my sister’s old bras.”

-“Vaginas. That’s what Georgie O’Keeffe was famous for painting.”

-“In fact, they are practically the only thing I will eat, besides hamburgers, as I dislike most fruits and all vegetables, as well as a wide variety of other food groups, such as fish and anything with garlic.”

-“Back in the days when Catherine and I had gone around tapping on the backs of wardrobes, hoping to get transported to a land where there were fauns and hobbits, not Lunchables and Carson Daly…”

-“But dogs are smart. Birds are kind of stupid.” (A girl who had this book before me wrote ‘yeah, right bitches! :)’ next to this line. I want to find this girl and punch her for defending birds.)

-“That is the thing about being a redhead, of course. You go around blushing something like ninety-seven percent of the time. And there is absolutely nothing you can do to hide it.”

-“Baby. Always gets what she wants. Kid most likely to end up discovering a cure for caner, hosting her own talk show…”

-“My dad is actually a Billy Joel fan-he plays it all the time in the car, which makes driving with him mad fun, let me tell you-but even he is way over ‘Uptown Girl’.”

“…although I know that as a citizen of this country and a member of this planet I should be a lot more politically aware than I actually am.”

-“They say all this stuff about redheads being hot-tempered.”

-“I mean, that was like choosing Skipper instead of Barbie.”

-“And when the burgers came…no one had put fresh vegetables, like tomatoes or onions or lettuce, on or anywhere near them.”

-“I am redheaded. Redheads are eighty-five percent more likely to develop terminal skin cancer than anyone else on the planet.”

-“Besides, there is something to be said for having your parents actually like the person you are going out with.”

Who in their right mind would defend birds in a library book?